As we travel and speak with parents, church leaders and families about family discipleship and prayer there are two resounding reasons parents give for not being able to disciple their children: the first is busyness, the second is lack of knowledge. This week and next I will be tackling these two struggles that every parent faces.
I once heard it said that there are three types of people; those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder “what happened”. I know in my own life I have had seasons where I felt like the latter and was sort of blindsided by things that have happened. In other seasons I have felt like I was the one sitting in the theater of life watching things happen, but not really participating. The majority though I spend my life with the primary focus of being intentional with directing my life. This secret I have learned, albeit the hard way, If I am not intentional in directing my life you can bet life will happen anyway and I will be caught, once again, wondering what in the world happened. This is the number one piece of advice we give to parents, this one thing is the simplest, number one priority: Be intentional. The simplicity of that simple statement carries with it so much power to transform. It is by far the most powerful revelation we can grasp for how to live this life and walk with God, and to walk with our families. To be intentional. This simple thing is oh so difficult.
Ephesians 5 tells us to be careful how we live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. 16 Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. 17 Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. (Ephesian 5:15 NLT)
Simple, right? Be intentional, make the most of every single opportunity to impact our children for Christ as possible. But what do we do with all the busyness? How do we compete with sports, drama, debate, choir, band, youth group and just the general social gatherings our kids are involved in? What about the overtime I have to work this week? I am out of town for work this week? We have a social life too so we have our gatherings too. Or maybe its just the favorite TV shows, or watching the game. At the end of the day it really does simply come down to choice. I must choose. I must choose to be intentional, and I must choose to be diligent. Diligence is defined as “constant in effort to accomplish something; attentive and persistent in doing anything. Anything done or pursued with persevering attention; painstaking. God tells us as parents to teach them (our children) diligently. To be painstakingly intentional with persistence we prioritize the spiritual lives and salvation of our children above all else. “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” (Deuteronomy 6:6-7 NKJV)
Does that mean you skip sports and drama and all those things, not necessarily, but you will need to be intentional to make the spiritual growth and salvation of your children take a higher place above those other things. In less than 15 minutes you can read a verse and discuss it with your child. Five minutes of prayer thanking God for what He is doing in your child’s life and declaring His mercy and grace over their lives is not too much time to spend. Try it, strike up a conversation with your kids tonight. Ask them what their favorite verse in the Bible is. Tell them yours and tell them why it has special meaning to you. Be Intentional, it is truly powerful.
Let me add one more closing thought: Go ahead and give yourself some grace when you miss it. Forgive yourself and get back up and try again. I miss it so often in my efforts to follow God and lead my family but I have learned I am only defeated when I don’t get back up, repent and get back after it. Forgive yourself, ask God to forgive you, get back up and get after it. I am in your corner rooting for you (and God is too, He thinks you are awesome!).
Next week we are going to break this down even further and demystify the idea of family discipleship and tackle the number two reason we hear from parents as to why they cant disciple their children; I don’t know enough about the Bible. This week, be diligent, be intentional; make the most of every day you have with your children to turn their lives towards Christ.