Hello Friends welcome back for this Epilogue video to our recent series on Offense, Unforgiveness and Bitterness – Today we are going to be discussing Gossip.
Last week we closed out or series talking about Bitterness and Hebrews 12:14-15 “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;
This word defile here is the Greek word μιαίνω
(me i nō) miaínō [to stain, defile]
Today I want us to look at one of the chief means of this “Staining” the “Me I No” of bitterness and that means is through the vehicle of GOSSIP.
The Bible tells us in Proverbs 17:9 “He who covers a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates friends.”
The word here that is translated “He who Covers” is the Hebrew word כָּסָה kā·sā (Kee-Sah) and it means to forgive.
He who forgives a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter (He who Gossips) separates friends.
I will say it this way, He who repeats a matter Me i no’s, that is He who repeats a matter defiles, he stains friends.
My friends, there is an old saying that goes something like this: “he who gossips to you will gossip about you”
In a recent 2017 study, researchers from the University of Pavia in Italy studied the effects of gossip on a group of women.
The study found that the women’s brains released more oxytocin after gossiping, compared with having an ordinary conversation about, for example, the weather.
Oxytocin is a chemical released in the brain. When people hug or kiss a loved one, oxytocin levels increase; hence, oxytocin is often called “the love hormone.” In fact, the hormone plays a huge role in all pair bonding. Leading to it being nicknamed the ‘cuddle chemical’.
The results of this study claim these positive benefits: “The release of the hormone helps bring people closer together after they have gossiped, Dr Brondino says. Unfortunately, while it may give a feeling of closeness and bonding in the moment, the sin of gossiping’s results will be dividing, creating broken trust. Broken relationships.
And there you have it folks: Scientific proof, Sin has its pleasure for a season. (Hebrews 11:24-25)
James tells us in James chapter 3 when speaking about the tongue, he says:
“With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the image of God. (Imago Dei) Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening?”
Proverbs 18:21 tells us “Death and life are in the power of the tongue”
I remember back in my days in youth ministry we used to do a group activity to teach the premises of the negative effects of gossip and rumors.
We would sit all the students in small group circles of about 10 per group and start a secret about someone, via a whisper, in the ear of one student. That student would then turn and whisper the secret in the ear of the student next to them. This exercise would repeat until the “secret” came back around to the leader. For the big reveal the last student would say out loud the secret they heard, and then the first student would share the secret they were told to start the game. Everyone would have a good laugh about the crazy differences between the end secret and the beginning. We would then take the opportunity to teach on the negativity of rumors that are shared, how easy it is to talk about each other and the end result of this sin of gossip.
One of the reasons why Gossip is such a big deal is because it is not just something that is used when we are unforgiving and walking in a root of bitterness.
Lisa Bevere in her book “Out of Control and Loving it” Points out 5 scenarios when we gossip:
We gossip whenever we feel God needs our assistance to protect us or our loved ones.”
“We gossip to justify our actions or defend ourselves when we are worried that the other person has not heard our side of the story.”
“We gossip when we are offended by others.”
“We gossip simply to gain someone else’s information.”
“We gossip when we perceive someone else’s favor, provision, or position as a deduction from God’s ability to bless, protect, and provide for us.”
We really don’t think about it or we really don’t believe it but we will be judged according to our words
Jesus says in Matthew 12:36-37 “But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
We don’t want to think about there being any condemnation for us. We are believers right? We stand on Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.
But lets not forget the rest of that verse: “who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.” When we gossip we are not walking according to the Spirit because the word of God condemns gossip, we are however walking according to the flesh. Remember Science has proven that when a person gossips their brain releases oxytocin and make them feel good when their hearts should be grieved.
There is a judgement and we will be held to account for how we lived, how we spoke, how we loved. Jesus spoke of it here in Matthew, Paul spoke of it in 2 Corinthians 5:10 “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.”
This judgement seat of Christ is also known by its Greek form: Bema seat, it is known for the seat of judgement and the seat of reward.
In reference to this Bema seat Paul references in Romans:
Romans 14:12 So then each of us shall give account of himself to God.
My friends returning to a passage we discussed last week in Ephesians 4:29-32 “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
Let us not grieve the Holy Spirit through corrupt speak, Gossip and slander, rather let us forgive, be kind to one another and tenderhearted towards others.
Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer.
Let me close this video with this: if you want a shot of oxytocin try hugging your spouse, hugging your kids or petting your dog. Study’s show that those activities will also cause your brain to release oxytocin, and those are way better ways to feel good without engaging in gossip.