Hello, friends thank you for joining me on this second video in the 3 part series on Offense, Unforgiveness and Bitterness. Last week we covered the topic of offense and you will remember we looked at Luke 17:1 It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come!
And you will remember There are really four root causes of offense, and really, all of the offenses we see and experience in our lives can be boiled down to one of these four things:
- Someone said something you feel like they shouldn’t have.
- Someone didn’t say something that you felt they should have said but they didn’t.
- Someone did something you think they shouldn’t have.
- Someone didn’t do something that you think they should have done.
That’s it, it is really that simple, 4 things that you can boil every offense you encounter down to. 4 simple things.
Before we head into the next topic of unforgiveness let me add a couple more clarifying scriptures on offense that are important:
Proverbs 18:19 “A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a castle.”
When someone is dealing with offense in their heart, unforgiveness and bitterness their heart becomes hard. They are difficult to reach.
Jesus teaches in Matthew 5 in His sermon on the mount that if we know our brother has something against us, i.e. if our brother is offended by us, by something we did or said, or didn’t do or didn’t say we should not even bring our offering, but should lay our offering aside and go be reconciled with our offended brother. Here is a modern translation when you come to worship if you know of a brother offended with you you should press pause on your worship and seek out reconciliation with your offended brother. In God’s eyes, He is willing to wait for worship for you to make things right with your brother. And frankly, the glory that God receives in that moment of repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation is far greater than our self-righteous worship from a place of offense, given or received. Dr. Martin Lloyd Jones puts it this way in his book “Studies in the Sermon on the Mount”: “We must get right with our brother or sister and then come back and offer the gift. In the sight of God there is no value whatsoever in an act of worship when we harbor a known sin.”
“In this manner, therefore, pray:
Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.”
If you remember last week I left you with a teaser statement: “You Owe Me an apology” The very statement imply’s that there is a debt owed to us when someone offends us in one of those 4 base categories we immediately assign a debt to that person that is now owed to use. we expect, even demand that that debt is paid. we want justice for ourselves and the wrong we feel has been perpetrated on us.
Jesus begins teaching his disciples how to pray and he included this language: And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors.
Jesus wants us to start at the base place that we are debtors in like fashion. We have offended God. We owe this debt.
Lets jump over to Matthew 18:21 As Jesus responds to Peter’s request for clarification on God’s expectation that we forgive.
“Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. “But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”
Put simply if you refuse to forgive the prison you put yourself in is of your own doing. And you will stay in that prison until you choose to forgive. That’s right it is a choice. it is not a choice that offenses will come, remember Jesus words: “It is impossible that offenses will not come.” It’s bound to happen, but forgiveness on the other hand, now that is a choice. In this parable Jesus breaks down the debt owed by us, the debt owed us by others and they release of that debt.
God as the righteous King forgives us, releases us of a huge debt: ten thousand talents, in today’s dollars about 7.5 million dollars. It is hyperbolic in the sense to reveal what we owe in our debt of sin before a righteous God
We as the released servant have a debt owed to us through an offense of another: 100 Denarii Again hyperbolically small to show in God’s eyes the difference in the weight of the offense. This was around 60% of 1 talent, today’s equivalence, about $450 dollars.
We who have been forgiven much demand justice from one whom owes us such a small debt by contrast.
Jesus Bookends on the front end of this parable with a response to Peters’s question: “Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
With: Forgive not 70 times but 70 times 7 times. Jesus was not giving a teaching on math He was saying more than you can count. Forgive and keep forgiving, here let me tell you a story.
And He bookends this parable on the back end by saying this: “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”
Forgiveness to God is a huge deal. Forgiveness to each of us should be a huge deal!
Let’s return to Matthew 6 and the Lord’s prayer: Of all the things Jesus teaches the disciples on how to pray, each one of them He felt needed no additional explanation to the disciples, its as if Jesus knew that the disciples would understand Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be your name, you Kingdom Come Your Will be done on earth as it is in heaven, Give us this day, Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever Amen. Jesus expected that these things needed no clarification to them, but this one: Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, this one part of the teaching on prayer Jesus felt he needed to add some clarification. that in and of itself lends weight to just how important forgiveness is to the Lord. In verses 14-15 Jesus shines His spotlight in on this debt and debtors prayer: “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
If we do not walk in forgiveness, we put ourselves in prison that none can free us from but ourselves.